Evening Personalities Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

Television's top hosts spent the airtime ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's just announced immigration program, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play system for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Pointed Analysis

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "The President ... ruins all he handles."

The focus was the new plan which permits overseas individuals to buy U.S. residence for a sum of $1 million dollars, with a "platinum" tier for $5 million. The program's portal guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick message for you to rich foreigners: before you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "extract cash" from companies wishing to hire foreign workers, involving significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"It might be time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll numbers during economic anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he said.

This week, in a attempt to address cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of food items, and behaved oddly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning news arguments of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.